The Little Dude

So, I gotta be careful about names and such, but Harley is the young man that may very well become my son. We have had two video chats but only after LOTS of other conversations with all the RIGHT people! This time (unlike the time with the twins), I made sure that all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed! I WILL NOT disappoint another child again!

So I can't give you specifics for obvious reasons, but Harley just turned 11 and he is an AWESOME young man! No, seriously... you need to hear this kid PRAY! (I wouldn't doubt it for one minute if he has a call on his life! The people who typically face the greatest challenges in life often become the greatest leaders!)

Needless to say, any kid coming out of DFACS kind of care is going to have some hurts! Harley has had many, but to see the resiliency in this young man as I talk to him via SKYPE is amazing. He interacts, he laughs, he expresses himself, etc. Now, don't get me wrong... I KNOW there are going to be challenges that I can only pray for God's grace on!

I keep telling one of my co-workers, Alissa, that I am becoming such a woman! (I don't mean this in a derogatory way, simply that I am told that as men age, their estrogen level increases and as women age, their testosterone level increases. This is why you have men who get older start crying more and women who get older start having the "granny beards"!) So I tell Alissa I am becoming such a woman and she keeps telling me that I am "pregnant" - a particularly disturbing image that any of you reading this blog and know what I look like will find it difficult to erase that visual from your brain! Don't go there!

Here is why I am "becoming such a woman"! During the course of our conversation, I realize I need to set Harley's mind at ease a little and talk about the "White Elephant" in the room. Now, Foster Parents aren't typically told everything about a child's past when he or she comes into care for various reasons. However, if you are a potential adoptive parent, they will eventually tell you EVERYTHING. (They try to ease you into it so you don't have visions of some child's head spinning around, spitting out pea soup and talking in mystery languages!) So, by this point, I have been more than eased into it but I do want to go and perform an exorcism on Harley's past "parents" and caregivers!

So, I start with this, "Hey Buddy, you know that I know everything there is to know about your past - or at least as much as I can know from all the paper work. Let me say a couple of things about that. First of all, as an adult I am sorry that any of this ever happened to you and, secondly, it should have NEVER happened to you and finally, none of that crap was your fault..." (Now, the picture on SKYPE is not all that great AND I am a little dense sometime, so bear with me because I still haven't noticed... so, I continue) "...and I promise you this..." (I'm already getting teary-eyed re-thinking about it) "...and I promise you this: I will do everything and anything I can do to keep anything like this from ever happening to you again!" What I now noticed is light "shimmering" down the poor kids face. He was crying. By the time I finish, he is wiping his eyes! CRAP (Carbon Rich Anabolic Product - for those readers who might be offended by the term), NOW my eyes are watering up! The estrogen level is off the charts!!

So, we both regain composure and I re-check my "man-card" by easing away from the conversation and cracking a couple of jokes. We talk about my travel plans and the time frame for visits and transition and then I ask him if he wants to pray. (For those of you who may be clandestine ACLU folks, the boy specifically requested to be in a home that goes to Church so deal with it!) A word about this: Before even talking to Harley, I ask his Foster mom to ask him a couple of questions BEFORE he even knows about me or what I do or what have you. (Remember, I'm dotting i's and crossing t's and I don't want to get some other kids hopes up!) I ask about his favorite pet, what sports or activities he likes to do and what he is looking for in a mom and dad. (I don't want the jig to be up that I'm a single dude, so I'm playing it real cool... "Mom AND Dad...") He gave some cool answers, some that you would expect... he likes dogs,... he likes baseball,... he wants to stay in touch with his Foster mom (that is cool, shows he doesn't have Reactive Attachment Disorder) and, get this... he has reiterated forcefully and on more than a couple of occasions that he wants to be in a family that goes to Church! Now SERIOUSLY, how can that not be a match?

I actually had to laugh and say, "Dude, you may get more church than you want!" Here is the kicker... he honestly had NO IDEA what I do for a living! I watched as his Foster mom (who by the way has done an AWESOME job, not just with Harley, but with 4 other boys as well - as a single mom whose kids are grown - none of you have an excuse!), I watched his Foster mom explain to Harley what I do and you would not believe how his face LIT UP! So yea, we prayed together. Now, funny enough, I asked him, "Do you want to pray?" His answer: "Yeah" "Do you want me to pray first or you to pray first?" His answer (I thought) was that he would pray first. We bow our heads (and remember we are on a video chat), and there is this long silence. If I'm lying I'm dying: after a few moments of awkward silence, it was just like we were in the same room, we both look up at the same time and say, "I thought you were praying first?" We re-established that I would pray first, which I did and then I said, "In Jesus name..." and waited for Harley to pray.

I've got a confession to make: I've been working with young people long enough to kind of expect "an 11-year old prayer" along the lines of, "thank you for Aunt Sally, bless my little puppy with the runny nose" (I exaggerate; don't get mad Childrens Pastors) but instead, what I get is this incredibly well-spoken prayer that was not rehearsed, or written down, or read or a repeat of what any other adult had said. I was BLOWN AWAY!!! I'm thinking to myself, "If this little dude doesn't have a call on his life, I am going to be very surprised!"

So, after an hour and ten minutes on SKYPE, we finally, and begrudgingly end the call, but Harley's Foster mom posted this to me via face book after I told her just a little bit about our conversation:

"That I'm sure made him feel more secure w/u but meeting u n person is what he really looking forward too. He is calm just pick his cars up & playing his DS.. letting him stay up later 2nite!! til 10:30 anyways. =/ "

Wow! What a RIDE! So, pray for me, pray for Harley and pray that I don't get overcome by estrogen (or the ACLU). I gotta go now as I'm going to print Harley's picture off so I can put in my wallet to remind me to pray for him. I'm thinking I'm going to mail him my picture because if he prays for me the way he did over the video, I'm GOLDEN!