I find it rather strange the times when people want you to be their Pastor:
1. When talking about where you go to church (even if you only go 3 times a year),
2. If you make them feel good with a warm-fuzzy message and good worship music,
3. When people want a "traditional" wedding and need a Pastor (even if the Pastor is not really your Pastor).
4. When people need to pull the "God" card in a conversation,
5. When people need someone else straightened up, (ie., kids, spouse, etc.),
6. When people need a "miracle" or emergency prayer,
7. When someone needs you to do their funeral.
Here is when people do not want you to be their Pastor:
1. When they need to be held accountable (maybe smoking pot or drinking with your kid or the way your kid (or for that matter, mom and dad) isn't exactly dressing appropriate). Seriously, do we need so much cleavage at the Church of all places? Heaven forbid a Pastor should be HONEST! And let's not get caught up in the cultural lie, "The Bible says we shouldn't judge anyone." REALLY? The Bible clearly talks about not judging UNBELIEVERS but we as believers are to hold each other accountable and bear each others burdens. And don't throw out the "holier than thou" cliche either. If it upsets you that I am going through a process of sanctification, asking you AS A BELIEVER to do the same (but you refuse), then yes, maybe I am holier than thou. Deal with it. Trust me, I am not casting stones, but I am making a whip. Seems like I have some pretty good company in that arena. Notice the audience - sinner who knew she needed help (no stone throwing needed) as opposed to people who claimed to know God intimately but where hypocrites FOR NOT BEING HELD ACCOUNTABLE (enter the mad man with a whip).
2. When the Church needs funding. Do people think God just magically drops money out of the sky to pay the utilities, maintenance, logistics, staff salaries? Lest you think I am living in opulence, I live in a $60,000.00 town home, drive a 2000 Ford Explorer that is literally falling apart, paying for my own continuing education, have no retirement benefits, pay some of my medical AND raising a child. For heaven's sake people, no wonder Pastors have to beg for funding - we are literally close to being beggars ourselves! At my age, most people make almost 3 times what I make. Seriously, what do you think we do with the money? Frankly, the people who typically give the least are the ones who complain the most. See a correlation?
3. When the Pastor is not perfect, but is expected to be.
I am certain there are other times people don't want a Pastor to be their Pastor, but one and two listed above are pretty much the "biggies".
Monday, December 12, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Lies I Tell My Kids
There was an interesting segment on The Early Show this morning (Saturday, December 3, 2011) highlighting a mom who blogs about how she makes it through the day in dealing with her 4-year old daughter. She talked about the "mis-truths" she tells her daughter in order to get the kind of behaviors she needs from her daughter. This jogged my memory about the lies we tell kids in our culture. Two in particular - Thanksgiving mythology and Christmas.
As you know, I am adopting a now 12-year old. Aaron is at the age where he was questioning the whole Santa Claus mythology. Before you stop reading thinking I am one of those "Anti-Santa Claus" people - I am not. In fact, I am very "pro-Santa", but in a specific way. I think we should take the "false mythologies" of the day and teach the truth behind them. By the way, Aaron had no idea that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus - not surprising in our culture. I wonder how many other children (and adults) have no idea about the true meaning of Christmas. Adult mythology is about being together with friends and family.
Anyway, I digress. When it comes to Santa, the contemporary Santa mythology finds is foundation in the true Saint Nicholas of Asia Minor who was known for his compassion and charity. ( http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/nick.html ) Saint Nicholas' actions were driven by his faith in Jesus Christ and he became known as the patron Saint of children. Are yous starting to see the connections?
Why is this so important? Well, if you "lie" about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Thanksgiving rather then finding the truth about these origins, your child may get to an age where he or she asks, "So if my parents lied about Santa, is what they told me about Jesus true too?"
What I am encouraging parents and caregivers to do is to find out the truth behind the legend. Once the truth is found out, compare to what the current mythology is. Reclaim the truth of the legend and share that with your child explaining how the legend came to be. If a child asks, "Does Santa really come down the chimney," don't be afraid to answer truthfully. (Kids are asking because they realize that not every home has a chimney.) Remind kids that according to legend of Saint Nicholas, some of the gifts he would deliver to families would be by dropping those gifts down the chimney. Once again, Saint Nicholas was driven in these acts of compassion by his love for Christ - something our culture has forgotten.
So, I believe there is a way to keep the spirit of Santa Claus as celebrated by our culture, have great memories for your children and use these opportunities to point your children to Christ. After all, isn't that what we are supposed to do as parents - tell the truth and point them to Jesus, the ultimate truth?
Merry Christmas!
As you know, I am adopting a now 12-year old. Aaron is at the age where he was questioning the whole Santa Claus mythology. Before you stop reading thinking I am one of those "Anti-Santa Claus" people - I am not. In fact, I am very "pro-Santa", but in a specific way. I think we should take the "false mythologies" of the day and teach the truth behind them. By the way, Aaron had no idea that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus - not surprising in our culture. I wonder how many other children (and adults) have no idea about the true meaning of Christmas. Adult mythology is about being together with friends and family.
Anyway, I digress. When it comes to Santa, the contemporary Santa mythology finds is foundation in the true Saint Nicholas of Asia Minor who was known for his compassion and charity. ( http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/nick.html ) Saint Nicholas' actions were driven by his faith in Jesus Christ and he became known as the patron Saint of children. Are yous starting to see the connections?
Why is this so important? Well, if you "lie" about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Thanksgiving rather then finding the truth about these origins, your child may get to an age where he or she asks, "So if my parents lied about Santa, is what they told me about Jesus true too?"
What I am encouraging parents and caregivers to do is to find out the truth behind the legend. Once the truth is found out, compare to what the current mythology is. Reclaim the truth of the legend and share that with your child explaining how the legend came to be. If a child asks, "Does Santa really come down the chimney," don't be afraid to answer truthfully. (Kids are asking because they realize that not every home has a chimney.) Remind kids that according to legend of Saint Nicholas, some of the gifts he would deliver to families would be by dropping those gifts down the chimney. Once again, Saint Nicholas was driven in these acts of compassion by his love for Christ - something our culture has forgotten.
So, I believe there is a way to keep the spirit of Santa Claus as celebrated by our culture, have great memories for your children and use these opportunities to point your children to Christ. After all, isn't that what we are supposed to do as parents - tell the truth and point them to Jesus, the ultimate truth?
Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Fringe Kids
Sorry it has been a while since I have written, trying to care for an adoptive child and working on a Doctoral paper will do that. I have to admit, there is much perplexing about life right now - much of which I will not bore you with. I do have to say that I want to "share" a burden, or an epiphony, if you will.
Early in my ministry years, I was with a para-church ministry that really went after the "fringe" kids - or at least that is what they claimed. It is not that I doubt that, but I think the strategy was to use the "popular kids", you know, the jocks, cheerleaders, Mr. & Mrs. Homecoming - you get the picture - to reach the "fringe kids". I have been thinking on this subject of fringe kids now for quite some time now and I have come to a few conclusions:
1. The kids who used to be the "fringe kids" are now the normal kids and the "normal kids" are now becoming the fringe kids. Here is what I mean. I hate to put this so bluntly, but our culture is so screwed up that it seems there are not more hurting kids in our culture than health kids. The healthy kids, since there are fewer of them, are now becoming the fringe kids and the hurting kids are becoming the norm.
2. Our culture continues to abandon kids. Kids are daily sacrificed on the altar of adult agendas. Schools teach to tests, not educate the child. While children are being taught to tests and not being taught how to think and process critically, they are also expected to have hihg academic performance. Sports become about winning at all costs or pursuing a coveted scholarship. Parents, coaches and officials fight on the fields in front of these kids. Popular media has become a pusher of goods in order to make a buck. Pharmaceutical companies are making BILLIONS on pushing drugs on our kids! Youth Ministries are pressured to "grow in numbers" in order to be considered "successful". (If not, there is obviously a failure on the part of the Youth Pastor.) Peers become survival tribes where more time is spent in your tribe then with your parents. Musicians push there message and music in the pursuit of bling.
3. Due to everything in #2, kids are developing multiple identities simply to cope. They present to so many different people who they think those other people want them to be. This is yet another expectation they have to keep up - and the pressure mounts.
4. We have become a narcissistic culture where the good name of a sporting institution is more important then reporting a known child sex-offender. (Did you not know that sports have become one of the many gods in our culture?) Church services better be over quick and the church better not schedule an opportunity to feed the poor if there is an "important football" game coming on - and after all, aren't they all important?
5. Kids are growing up without extended family, HEALTHY role-models and age-segregated churches. Kids are left to "figure out life" on their own. From the time they are two and in the stroller or car seat, they are "entertained" with portable DVD players in the car or whenever mom and dad "can't handle" dealing with their child right now.
These are but a few of the things going on that are causing the "fringe kids" to become the norm. God help us wake up before it is too late. The measure of how we are treating our kids now will the the measure of how they treat us - and then some - when we are old and need to rely on them to care for us. How's that gonna work out for us?
Early in my ministry years, I was with a para-church ministry that really went after the "fringe" kids - or at least that is what they claimed. It is not that I doubt that, but I think the strategy was to use the "popular kids", you know, the jocks, cheerleaders, Mr. & Mrs. Homecoming - you get the picture - to reach the "fringe kids". I have been thinking on this subject of fringe kids now for quite some time now and I have come to a few conclusions:
1. The kids who used to be the "fringe kids" are now the normal kids and the "normal kids" are now becoming the fringe kids. Here is what I mean. I hate to put this so bluntly, but our culture is so screwed up that it seems there are not more hurting kids in our culture than health kids. The healthy kids, since there are fewer of them, are now becoming the fringe kids and the hurting kids are becoming the norm.
2. Our culture continues to abandon kids. Kids are daily sacrificed on the altar of adult agendas. Schools teach to tests, not educate the child. While children are being taught to tests and not being taught how to think and process critically, they are also expected to have hihg academic performance. Sports become about winning at all costs or pursuing a coveted scholarship. Parents, coaches and officials fight on the fields in front of these kids. Popular media has become a pusher of goods in order to make a buck. Pharmaceutical companies are making BILLIONS on pushing drugs on our kids! Youth Ministries are pressured to "grow in numbers" in order to be considered "successful". (If not, there is obviously a failure on the part of the Youth Pastor.) Peers become survival tribes where more time is spent in your tribe then with your parents. Musicians push there message and music in the pursuit of bling.
3. Due to everything in #2, kids are developing multiple identities simply to cope. They present to so many different people who they think those other people want them to be. This is yet another expectation they have to keep up - and the pressure mounts.
4. We have become a narcissistic culture where the good name of a sporting institution is more important then reporting a known child sex-offender. (Did you not know that sports have become one of the many gods in our culture?) Church services better be over quick and the church better not schedule an opportunity to feed the poor if there is an "important football" game coming on - and after all, aren't they all important?
5. Kids are growing up without extended family, HEALTHY role-models and age-segregated churches. Kids are left to "figure out life" on their own. From the time they are two and in the stroller or car seat, they are "entertained" with portable DVD players in the car or whenever mom and dad "can't handle" dealing with their child right now.
These are but a few of the things going on that are causing the "fringe kids" to become the norm. God help us wake up before it is too late. The measure of how we are treating our kids now will the the measure of how they treat us - and then some - when we are old and need to rely on them to care for us. How's that gonna work out for us?
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