As we are all aware, the zeitgeist of America is currently that of historical revisionism - especially when it comes to a fallacious view that "America was not founded as a Christian Nation, at best, it was found by Deists." Really? Then how have we gotten into our current geo-political struggle with Middle Eastern countries? Certainly some of the conflict is related to allegiances with Israel and more "moderate" Muslim Countries. (However, when as our Country slides more toward socialism and a watered down Christendom, it is easier to abandon those allegiances. Since Israel is the only true Democracy and a Jewish state, as the Ethos of America changes toward socialism and pluralism, well, it is much easier to abandon those who used to be like us.) Certainly some of the conflict has to do with oil and, at a very deep and sinister level, it might be believed that high-level government officials are in a high-stakes gamble because of their oil interests on both the American and the Arab sides. However, there is one other reality that no one seems to want to address that is just as much a reality. Liberal Politicians have paid it lip service, but only on the extreme negative end of the spectrum. That is the issue of religious foundations.
I find it rather ironic that liberals are adamant in their denial that America was not founded as a Christian Nation but when they want to project an understanding as to why the Arab (Muslim) Nations are against us, they want to use the Crusades. The Crusades are another way for them to reach back into antiquity and "show how evil Christianity is". Our current POTUS, Barak Obama so much as said so at the National Prayer Breakfast - which again, started out as "Christian" but has now become pluralistic. (Look at the History of the National Prayer Breakfast - http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/1706090/The-Family#ref1102485 and http://www.washingtonstudentleadership.com/#!national-prayer-breakfast/cu0i ) In President Obama's defense, his 2013 prayer seemed strikingly "Christian" as he quotes both New and Old Testaments of the Bible (www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/02/07/remarks-president-national-prayer-breakfast ) And finally, I would like to set the record straight as to the horrors of the Crusades. Yes, war, in any day and age is terrible and there are some soldiers (on both sides) that do horrible things. But The Crusades are being used erroneously to paint all current Christians with one broad brush ( http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/mayweb-only/52.0.html?share=GcNwk5OSRquYLbiFtvo2wtnds8X66CSE )
Okay, enough with the external resources. Here is the reality: If America was NOT founded as a Christian (or Christendom Nation), then how did we get our start? Will Atheists now say that the "Pilgrims" were Deists at best but really Atheists that were trying to escape the control, oppression and persecution of the Church of England? No, the Pilgrims (even their very name implies a spiritual journey) were Protestants trying to get out from under the religious restrictions of King James I and King Charles I (okay, one more resource: http://www.history.com/topics/pilgrims ). It is this foundation that became the ethos of America. It was not until later that pluralism, which allowed for the rise of a more vocal Atheism to arise. (Try being an Atheist in a Muslim Country and see where that gets you.)
So, as you can see, our ethos is one major contributor that has gotten us into the predicament we are in today. This has not come about because "Christian America seeks to engage in another (truth distorted) Crusade". No. We are here because America has been a Freedom loving Country for Centuries. And where did this love of freedom come from? Where does the freedom come from that allows militant Atheists and Liberals to slander Christianity at best, and the name of Jesus at worse? It comes from the freedom that the Pilgrims and Puritans sought out. A freedom that they believe was rightfully given to them from God, namely the Judeo-Christian God that they worshiped. Ironically, it is this very freedom that the Atheist and Liberals (and even militant Muslims) are using to bash a previously Christian Nation. Yet, there is still the fact of Social Judgment Theory which basically can be summarized in a couple of different and useful ways to this discussion. Social Judgment can be thought of as, "An enemy of my enemy is my friend."
In or current geo-political struggles, it really boils down to freedoms, freedoms that ironically even the Liberals should support. Let's face it, the ethos of most (if not all) Arab countries is founded in Muslim roots. This means that their beliefs come from an interpretation (whether liberal, moderate or militant) of the Quran. These interpretations have shaped their societies, their governments and their laws. The more militant their interpretation, the more at odds it puts the United States and other freedom loving Countries at odds with these entities and Nations. For the most part, The United States has always stood against Tyrants and Dictators, though admittedly, politics is a messy game and we have also put some Tyrants and Dictators in power as a "lesser of two evils". Social Judgment Theory basically says this: On a scale from 1 - 10, 1 being a Muslim ethos of Sharia Law and 10 being a freedom loving individual Christian under Judeo-Christian ethos, the further apart from either number you are, the deeper the conflict. Now, let's say that you are a 7 on the scale, which means you are a "moderate Christian" (for the sake of argument). If a 4 or 5 on the scale pushes you to move more toward their position, the more you tend to dig into your current standing. However, if a 2 or 3 tries to force their position on you, you will actually move more toward an 8 or possibly even a 9.
So here is my point: IF America did not retain some semblance of a "Christian Ethos", we would be less inclined to engage in a conflict with Nations that are driven by a Muslim Ethos. This is dueto the fact that the further along the scale you go (1 - Sharia Law ethos to 10 - Judeo-Christian ethos), the more conflict you can have. 2's and 3's will side with 1's and 8's and 9's will side with 10's. (Admittedly, political decisions are not driven just by religious ethos. There are philosophical, political and humanitarian ethos' in the mix, but one has to ask what foundation those ethos' are built upon as well. For America, like it or not, as I have laid out above, much of our ethos' have been built upon Judeo-Christian values.) Now the reality is that most policy makers tend to be along the lines of 4's and 5's and 6's and 7's. I am not saying this is a "bad thing" for there is beauty to be found in moderation where "cooler heads" prevail. The tension becomes exacerbated among the extremes (1's and 10's) when 6's seemingly slip down to a 4 or 4's seemingly slide up to a 6 in their host nations. I would say that this is the primary reason why we have such strong bi-partisanship in our current American politics. America is truly no longer a 10 on the Judeo-Christian ethos. We are probably more like a 7... and dwindling down.
In my mind, this explains a lot of what is going on in America, Western Countries and the World. Much of it is shaped by our current zeitgeist and foundational ethos - which is becoming more and more in conflict with each other. America is struggling to determine it's current identity in the world and is being "tossed about by the wind, like a wave in the ocean". We are being reminded of a shameful past (much of which is falsely construed under a liberal agenda) and this keeps us from moving forward. After all, who would want to move forward if they have been convinced that they were wrong? Some would argue that it is good that "Christendom is dying". There is a small bit of truth to that. However, with the "death of the child of Christendom" we must remember the insidious truth that soon to follow will be the death of the mother - Christianity. This is the true goal of militant Atheists, Muslims and Socialists. Atheists want freedom from (not of) religion. Muslims want freedom from a world where Jews and Christians (and Buddhists and Hindus and Shiite or Sunni's - depending which you are) exist. Socialists want freedom from the influence of The People where government is the primary caretaker of the Nation. This is why, in their mind, Christianity (not to be confused with Christendom) - the flagship of true freedom as Christ described - must die in the minds of militant (1's) Atheists, Muslims and Socialists.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Why Two Parents Are Better
If many people read this post, I know it will be an unpopular one, but the truth can often be unpopular. As a single dad of two, I have not only begun to appreciate the struggles of single parents - moms especially - I have also begun to realize the need for children to have two parents. I appreciate single moms all the more because, statistically, single moms tend to make less money then comparable men and of course, even less than a two-household income. Secondly, I have the perspective that as a man, there would be NO WAY I could pass on femininity to my daughter just as it would be impossible for a woman to pass on masculinity to a boy.
The other thing I feel like my boys miss out on is having a mom, not only so they can see a model of femininity, but because I feel like it benefits them to see how a man and a woman should treat each other. Frankly, I don't want them thinking they should treat a woman in a way comparable with "Fifty Shades of Grey". When it comes to dating, I am in a catch 22 situation. Between my work, trying to complete my Doctorate, trying to be involved in my boys' lives and other circumstances, dating is nearly impossible. EVERY day I seem to have the thought, "Where did my time go?!" Dating as a single dad is a difficult proposition, but that is another post for another time.
On another note, I think the other reason it is best for children to have two parents is for the simple reason of a "tag-team" approach. To steal from the illustration of wrestling, in the midst of the battle, it is good to have someone else to "tag" in order to step away from a heated situation. The reality is that there have been multiple times when I feel like I should have stepped away from the conflict between me and one of my boys. The other reason to tag team, while it may seem more humorous, is so that we can wear the child down rather than the other way around!
As a Pastor and as someone completing a Doctorate in "Youth, Family and Culture", I can tell you that I have seen the results that divorce has had on our young people. Unlike many Pastors, I am probably more open to the possibility of divorce. However, I also believe that divorce has become WAY TOO easy in America. People seem to get a divorce for just about every reason - most of which are shallow and narcissistic. "We just don't love each other any more." If that is the real reason, wow! What does that say to your children? What they think is, "So, does that mean you won't love me anymore?"
The fact of the matter is that research undeniably shows that children who grow up in a two-parent home are much better socially, academically and emotionally. I am about to say something that will make few people happy. In my role as a Pastor, and as someone who is a bit more "moderate", I have had to wrestle with the issue of gay couples adopting. My conclusion: from what results I have seen of a child growing up in "the system", I think it is better for a child to grow up in a loving home - whether heterosexual or homosexual - than to grow up in an institutional setting. I think Christians, and Pastors especially, have little to say in a condemning way if they are not willing to confront the issue of 500,000 children in the system every year in America.
Regardless, as a single-parent, I can say that being in a single-parent home is not the ideal situation for children for many reasons. On the flip side, I am also NOT advocating children growing up in a home where they see one spouse abuse the other. Overall, the reality is that children need to be in the healthiest environment possible.
Until next time, be the best parent you can be!
The other thing I feel like my boys miss out on is having a mom, not only so they can see a model of femininity, but because I feel like it benefits them to see how a man and a woman should treat each other. Frankly, I don't want them thinking they should treat a woman in a way comparable with "Fifty Shades of Grey". When it comes to dating, I am in a catch 22 situation. Between my work, trying to complete my Doctorate, trying to be involved in my boys' lives and other circumstances, dating is nearly impossible. EVERY day I seem to have the thought, "Where did my time go?!" Dating as a single dad is a difficult proposition, but that is another post for another time.
On another note, I think the other reason it is best for children to have two parents is for the simple reason of a "tag-team" approach. To steal from the illustration of wrestling, in the midst of the battle, it is good to have someone else to "tag" in order to step away from a heated situation. The reality is that there have been multiple times when I feel like I should have stepped away from the conflict between me and one of my boys. The other reason to tag team, while it may seem more humorous, is so that we can wear the child down rather than the other way around!
As a Pastor and as someone completing a Doctorate in "Youth, Family and Culture", I can tell you that I have seen the results that divorce has had on our young people. Unlike many Pastors, I am probably more open to the possibility of divorce. However, I also believe that divorce has become WAY TOO easy in America. People seem to get a divorce for just about every reason - most of which are shallow and narcissistic. "We just don't love each other any more." If that is the real reason, wow! What does that say to your children? What they think is, "So, does that mean you won't love me anymore?"
The fact of the matter is that research undeniably shows that children who grow up in a two-parent home are much better socially, academically and emotionally. I am about to say something that will make few people happy. In my role as a Pastor, and as someone who is a bit more "moderate", I have had to wrestle with the issue of gay couples adopting. My conclusion: from what results I have seen of a child growing up in "the system", I think it is better for a child to grow up in a loving home - whether heterosexual or homosexual - than to grow up in an institutional setting. I think Christians, and Pastors especially, have little to say in a condemning way if they are not willing to confront the issue of 500,000 children in the system every year in America.
Regardless, as a single-parent, I can say that being in a single-parent home is not the ideal situation for children for many reasons. On the flip side, I am also NOT advocating children growing up in a home where they see one spouse abuse the other. Overall, the reality is that children need to be in the healthiest environment possible.
Until next time, be the best parent you can be!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Day 3 & 4 of Hope
Wednesdays are difficult to post due to a busy schedule. However, I won't "skimp".
Psalm 121: 1 & 2 - "I lift up my eyes to the mountains — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Many people read this as a verse thinking the author is appreciating creation and that the God of creation is where his hope comes from. Only the second part of the preceding statement is true. If we know much about the context, there were many altars built to false gods in the mountains. While it is nice to think about the beauty of creation, we must understand that the author is telling us that his hope DOES NOT come from the "gods" represented in the mountainside shrines.
When looking for hope, we need to TRULY seek after God. Not that He is hard to find, rather we become so distracted looking for beauty (hope), we are not really seeking God or pursuing Him with ALL we have. So, where is my hope found? The obvious, and spiritual answer, is God. And where is God found? In our circumstances? In others? In The Body? Working through non-believers and pagan world systems? Sometimes. Yet sometimes, the difficult struggle can be found in the desire to see God tangibly - not just try to "tie Him" to some providential work.
It is like the story of the little boy who lost his daddy. His mother, being keenly aware of the her son's profound sense of longing tried to encourage the boy by saying, "Remember, Jesus is a father to the fatherless. God is your daddy," to which the boy replied, "I know mommy, but sometimes I need God to have a body so I can throw the football with Him." Maybe we as believers lose hope because we need to see MORE of Jesus from each other - especially from other Believers that we respect. Like the little boy, is it really wrong to desire to see "God with a body"?
None-the-less, our hope comes from the Lord. I think the challenge for me is to be God with a body. My hope is that THE Body, will truly become HIS Body.
Day 4 - Is it easy to come by or difficult to come by? I suppose it all depends on how individuals see their circumstances. Of course, the more trying the circumstance, the more difficult hope is to come by and yet, it is hope that keeps us going. It is easy to become "despondent" over our current economy, government, personal finances, not having "enough" and so on and so on. However, put yourself in the place of a mother in an impoverished nation frantically praying for food for her child who is slowly starving to death. Hope seems hard to come by and her situation makes our concerns seem rather petty.
Our hope is in God. So is the mother's hope... but the mother's hope is also in US, the Body of Christ, to do SOMETHING! Anything! We are the hope. We are the hope from God and of God. God has put us here to be the hope, not to get concerned about relatively petty concerns. Sometimes we need to see that we are the hope. So if we are looking for hope, the closest place to look is in the mirror but only if the mirror allows us to see others, not ourselves!
2
Psalm 121: 1 & 2 - "I lift up my eyes to the mountains — where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Many people read this as a verse thinking the author is appreciating creation and that the God of creation is where his hope comes from. Only the second part of the preceding statement is true. If we know much about the context, there were many altars built to false gods in the mountains. While it is nice to think about the beauty of creation, we must understand that the author is telling us that his hope DOES NOT come from the "gods" represented in the mountainside shrines.
When looking for hope, we need to TRULY seek after God. Not that He is hard to find, rather we become so distracted looking for beauty (hope), we are not really seeking God or pursuing Him with ALL we have. So, where is my hope found? The obvious, and spiritual answer, is God. And where is God found? In our circumstances? In others? In The Body? Working through non-believers and pagan world systems? Sometimes. Yet sometimes, the difficult struggle can be found in the desire to see God tangibly - not just try to "tie Him" to some providential work.
It is like the story of the little boy who lost his daddy. His mother, being keenly aware of the her son's profound sense of longing tried to encourage the boy by saying, "Remember, Jesus is a father to the fatherless. God is your daddy," to which the boy replied, "I know mommy, but sometimes I need God to have a body so I can throw the football with Him." Maybe we as believers lose hope because we need to see MORE of Jesus from each other - especially from other Believers that we respect. Like the little boy, is it really wrong to desire to see "God with a body"?
None-the-less, our hope comes from the Lord. I think the challenge for me is to be God with a body. My hope is that THE Body, will truly become HIS Body.
Day 4 - Is it easy to come by or difficult to come by? I suppose it all depends on how individuals see their circumstances. Of course, the more trying the circumstance, the more difficult hope is to come by and yet, it is hope that keeps us going. It is easy to become "despondent" over our current economy, government, personal finances, not having "enough" and so on and so on. However, put yourself in the place of a mother in an impoverished nation frantically praying for food for her child who is slowly starving to death. Hope seems hard to come by and her situation makes our concerns seem rather petty.
Our hope is in God. So is the mother's hope... but the mother's hope is also in US, the Body of Christ, to do SOMETHING! Anything! We are the hope. We are the hope from God and of God. God has put us here to be the hope, not to get concerned about relatively petty concerns. Sometimes we need to see that we are the hope. So if we are looking for hope, the closest place to look is in the mirror but only if the mirror allows us to see others, not ourselves!
2
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Day 2 - Hope
Psalm 25:5 says, "Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." I have to constantly remind myself that keeping my eyes "on the world", is what could leave me with a sense of losing hope. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I can see hope in the world, but I do not look at the world for my hope.
This means I must find my hope in God, for as the Psalmist said, "...you are my God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." This means I must seek out God much more than I seek out hope in the world. Seeking God brings about hope.
No matter what the world or the culture may say, God is still at work through His people. I think of places like the Philippines. When tragedy hits, it is often The Church that steps up and delivers hope in the name of Jesus. We must remember that our job is not to "change the world", or job is to love God's creation (not love the things of the world). "For God so loved the world..." This verse speaks of loving God's Creation. Loving His Creation brings about redemption and restoration. Other governments might bring relief, but there is still another disaster waiting around the corner. Relief brought in the name of Jesus brings more than food, water, shelter and medication - it brings hope for eternal salvation.
Our hope is not found in the world. God can use the things of this world, but it is His presence in His people that brings hope. "Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God, all all these things will be added..." Matthew 6:33. What if all true believers sought after God FIRST and His Kingdom rather than trying to "fight the world"? This is what it means to bring about His Kingdom on earth. When we do this, it will be God who brings about the change for we are allowing His presence to break through. This is where I MUST find my hope.
How about you? Once again, if you have a story of hope, please send me your story at richgriffith@yahoo.com
This means I must find my hope in God, for as the Psalmist said, "...you are my God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." This means I must seek out God much more than I seek out hope in the world. Seeking God brings about hope.
No matter what the world or the culture may say, God is still at work through His people. I think of places like the Philippines. When tragedy hits, it is often The Church that steps up and delivers hope in the name of Jesus. We must remember that our job is not to "change the world", or job is to love God's creation (not love the things of the world). "For God so loved the world..." This verse speaks of loving God's Creation. Loving His Creation brings about redemption and restoration. Other governments might bring relief, but there is still another disaster waiting around the corner. Relief brought in the name of Jesus brings more than food, water, shelter and medication - it brings hope for eternal salvation.
Our hope is not found in the world. God can use the things of this world, but it is His presence in His people that brings hope. "Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God, all all these things will be added..." Matthew 6:33. What if all true believers sought after God FIRST and His Kingdom rather than trying to "fight the world"? This is what it means to bring about His Kingdom on earth. When we do this, it will be God who brings about the change for we are allowing His presence to break through. This is where I MUST find my hope.
How about you? Once again, if you have a story of hope, please send me your story at richgriffith@yahoo.com
Monday, November 18, 2013
30 Days of Hope and Joy
It has been a while since I have posted and posting is mainly for myself. I do have a few "readers" and I hope that those few will keep me accountable for the posts to follow.
I am beginning (and hopefully will stick with) two-30 day blogs. The first blog will focus on looking for hope and the second will focus on looking for joy.
After some serious "introspection", I have decided that there are two things that I desperately lack in my life: hope and joy. I think one must first find hope in order to obtain joy. As many might know, joy is not "happiness". We live in a culture obsessed with being happy. Happiness is based on circumstances while joy is something found more "deeply within" - even in light of negative circumstances.
I am not sure where my emotional apathy began. Maybe it first reared it's ugly head after taking a course on "At Risk Children" as part of my Masters Degree. Hearing about child-soldiers, human trafficking, abuse and neglect of children world-wide put a wound in me that maybe I did not want to acknowledge. This wound grew deeper with multiple senses of betrayal throughout a long career in ministry and various dimensions that come with that call.
I am convinced that the fight against human depravity, whether personal or societal, is the most difficult fight humanity ever faces. Personal demons or national atrocities seem to be in abundance. As a Christian, I have to believe that there is redemption to be had. As a human, I want that redemption to happen in the here and now, not just wait until Jesus comes back.
So, day one in my search for hope begins...
Sometimes hope can be difficult to find - especially on a daily basis. I fear that this may be a daunting task if I undertake this on my own. I don't want the search for hope to be inauthentic. I don't want it to be the kind of thing we experience when we are told to, "Say something nice about a person," and the only thing we come up with is, "I really like your shoes." I may need help and encouragement to find hope.
I suppose it would be cliche to say I always have my hope in Jesus, but truth be known, sometimes I need to see "Jesus in action" and, more than likely, that is going to have to come through other people. Some of those people may not even be Christians. I do believe that God can use ALL things and ALL people to bring about hope - even if they do not call upon His name.
Day 1 of Hope - https://www.operationundergroundrailroad.org/
This organization is headed up by ex-Special Forces and former Navy Seal Operators. Where governments fail to declare war on sexual perpetrators and those who run human sex trafficking rings, these folks step in and take care of business. In Matthew 18:1-9, Jesus gives a profound warning to those who would harm children or cause them to be taken advantage of.
My hope today is that God would use Operation Underground Railroad to dramatically eliminate sex trafficking of children and that hope would come to these rescued children.
I am beginning (and hopefully will stick with) two-30 day blogs. The first blog will focus on looking for hope and the second will focus on looking for joy.
After some serious "introspection", I have decided that there are two things that I desperately lack in my life: hope and joy. I think one must first find hope in order to obtain joy. As many might know, joy is not "happiness". We live in a culture obsessed with being happy. Happiness is based on circumstances while joy is something found more "deeply within" - even in light of negative circumstances.
I am not sure where my emotional apathy began. Maybe it first reared it's ugly head after taking a course on "At Risk Children" as part of my Masters Degree. Hearing about child-soldiers, human trafficking, abuse and neglect of children world-wide put a wound in me that maybe I did not want to acknowledge. This wound grew deeper with multiple senses of betrayal throughout a long career in ministry and various dimensions that come with that call.
I am convinced that the fight against human depravity, whether personal or societal, is the most difficult fight humanity ever faces. Personal demons or national atrocities seem to be in abundance. As a Christian, I have to believe that there is redemption to be had. As a human, I want that redemption to happen in the here and now, not just wait until Jesus comes back.
So, day one in my search for hope begins...
Sometimes hope can be difficult to find - especially on a daily basis. I fear that this may be a daunting task if I undertake this on my own. I don't want the search for hope to be inauthentic. I don't want it to be the kind of thing we experience when we are told to, "Say something nice about a person," and the only thing we come up with is, "I really like your shoes." I may need help and encouragement to find hope.
I suppose it would be cliche to say I always have my hope in Jesus, but truth be known, sometimes I need to see "Jesus in action" and, more than likely, that is going to have to come through other people. Some of those people may not even be Christians. I do believe that God can use ALL things and ALL people to bring about hope - even if they do not call upon His name.
Day 1 of Hope - https://www.operationundergroundrailroad.org/
This organization is headed up by ex-Special Forces and former Navy Seal Operators. Where governments fail to declare war on sexual perpetrators and those who run human sex trafficking rings, these folks step in and take care of business. In Matthew 18:1-9, Jesus gives a profound warning to those who would harm children or cause them to be taken advantage of.
My hope today is that God would use Operation Underground Railroad to dramatically eliminate sex trafficking of children and that hope would come to these rescued children.
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Stressed Out Society Contributes To Children And Youth Mental And Emotional Issues
There has been a continued significant rise in the amount of children diagnosed with everything from ADHD to Asperger’s and various Autism Spectrum maladies. Could it be that we are causing these issues, not only through medications, preservatives and additives in our foods and drinks, but also through stressing our children? For past multiple years now, authors have been commenting on the stress that our children are facing and yet little is being done to “alleviate” that stress.
Studies in neuroscience and brain development show that a child’s brain development is dramatically impacted by stress. The impact on brain development is significant as the brain is the organ that also controls chemical regulation as well as emotional development. It seems that every institution that was supposedly the bastions of child protection and development have done more to harm child development than help. Families in America are fractured through divorce, abuse, systemic abandonment, parental negligence by pursuing adult desires and agendas for personal fulfillment as well as a move from nuclear families to permeable families (See Elkind, “Ties That Stress, The New Family Imbalance”). This fracturing causes a significant amount of trauma in the lives of children and youth.
Families are not the only “institution” in America to blame. Educational institutions, with their “No Child Left Behind” policies that focus on standardized testing, produce a new level of stress in both the classroom and at home. We have all been hearing and reading about the loss of common sense in the public classroom through Zero Tolerance policies. Who can forget the outrageous actions taken against the infamous “Pop tart gun” and “Hello Kitty bubble gun”? Statistically, both No Child Left Behind and Zero Tolerance policies have inadvertently (I hope) targeted families already struggling with stresses in their home life. Schools no longer teach children how to think, rather they teach children what to think by teaching to tests and standards. Granted, standards and safety are never the issue. How you go about meeting standards and safety are the issue. Children, as young as 3 and 4 years of age are already being academically and rigorously tested. The age of learning through socialization seems to be a thing of bygone days. Is it any wonder that our children are facing more and more awkwardness when it comes to socialization, and therefore learning, as they grow older?
Along with the technology of education comes the technology of socialization. As children are growing up, deprived of education through socialization and best educational practices, children now grow up in a virtual world. This virtual world can often expose children to stressors unheard of before the 1990’s. Virtual bullying has become a problem. Now, bullying can follow a child through the internet into a child’s home through the computer or phone. What is more, few parents think of the ramifications of exposing a child to the internet and pornography on the portable pornography portal known as the phone. Countless young people, who do not really need internet access on their phones, are exposed to countless disturbing images ranging from “live” pornography to “virtual” and anime pornography to horror and blood spattered pictures. These issues produce another level of stress that kids are left to figure out on their own – especially when parents have little knowledge of what their children are being exposed to.
Recreational outlets have also become stress producers in the lives of our children. Sports have now become high-stress producers as parents and coaches live vicariously through the youth participants. We send mixed messages that, “Everyone is a winner” and yet on the other hand coaches, parents and officials get into fights right in front of the youth participants because of a “win at all costs” mentality. Children, once again, find themselves in an environment where sportsmanship and playing for the fun of it have been thrown under the bus of adult driven agendas. The result, of course, is additional stress in and on the lives of our young people.
Of course, as a Youth and Family Pastor of 28 years, I have to point an incriminating finger at “The Church” as well! I would not know where to even begin on this. The issues here range from “deeper discipleship” (meaning we cut out socialization and having fun in order to produce yet another adult-agenda driven worship service thereby separating youth from adult role models and the body of Christ), to success based on numbers of bottoms in seats (the Youth Pastor who can’t produce numbers will soon find herself looking for a new ministry position), which leads to the ridiculous turn over rate of Youth professionals at a church, the egos of Pastors (both Youth and Senior/Lead), to the judgmental and exclusive air of youth clubs, to the segregation of The Body of Christ programmatically; all of these things cause The Church in America contribute to the growing stress felt by young people. I would suspect that much of what I have mentioned above are not exclusive to youth ministry but also occur in the younger ages of children’s ministry.
What is my point? Simply this: American society, and all of the institutions that are supposed to help children and youth develop into healthy interdependent adults, have abandoned approaches that are child-driven agendas in favor of adult-driven agendas thereby producing more stress in children and youth and contributing to the heightened stress the escalation of mental and social health issues among our children and youth contributing to the social and emotional decay our society. I can wrap all this up in a simple statement that we have known to be true for years: Stress kills, and in this case, our stress handed down to children is causing a cacophony of mental and social health issues.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Is It Really "Fair"?
I love them. I think they are a great idea, but there seems to be a very real imbalance. We are very glad to send our Women to things like, "Women of Faith" and we are even more happy to send our young ladies to "Revolve" and such tours. I think they are awesome and I hope those tours continue to go on and our women and young ladies attend. At these tours, the talk about some wonderful things, integrity, body image, being God's daughter... all things that are wonderful and true. Our girls are taught about sexual purity and finding their worth in God.
The problem is, it takes two to tango... if you know what I mean. It seems to me that there have been very few conferences of the magnitude of Revolve and Women of Faith for men and boys. Yes, I understand that there is Promise Keepers... a wonderful movement I tend to hear less and less about. So, we've established we have a conference for women, we have a conference for young ladies and we have a conference for men. BUT, what about a conference of this magnitude for boys?
It seems to me that there is a little imbalance if we put the expectation for purity on girls when we do not have the same venue type for boys. This puts ALL the responsibility on the girls! Does that sound right? Does it sound fair?
More and more in today's society, our young men are deprived of male role models and mentors. More and more of our young men are left to figure out life on their own. What would it take to have a similar type of conference for boys, one that is adrenaline pumping, challenging, in your face opportunity to connect these young men with God, each other and with godly men? I can see dirt bike stunts, comedy, extreme sports and all sort of other things that will appeal to young men. Bringing the message of Jesus to our young men today is something that seems to have been abandoned.
Have we abandoned our young men because they do not seem interested in this kind of conference? Do we just chalk them up to a demographic that is just too lost to reach? Too disconnected? Too not worth our time? Do any of these reasons justify our abandoning these young men? Is it not worth the potential financial risk?
I am not claiming to have the answers to these questions but I am not sure I have seen a conference in the likes of "Revolve" for boys. What gives?
The problem is, it takes two to tango... if you know what I mean. It seems to me that there have been very few conferences of the magnitude of Revolve and Women of Faith for men and boys. Yes, I understand that there is Promise Keepers... a wonderful movement I tend to hear less and less about. So, we've established we have a conference for women, we have a conference for young ladies and we have a conference for men. BUT, what about a conference of this magnitude for boys?
It seems to me that there is a little imbalance if we put the expectation for purity on girls when we do not have the same venue type for boys. This puts ALL the responsibility on the girls! Does that sound right? Does it sound fair?
More and more in today's society, our young men are deprived of male role models and mentors. More and more of our young men are left to figure out life on their own. What would it take to have a similar type of conference for boys, one that is adrenaline pumping, challenging, in your face opportunity to connect these young men with God, each other and with godly men? I can see dirt bike stunts, comedy, extreme sports and all sort of other things that will appeal to young men. Bringing the message of Jesus to our young men today is something that seems to have been abandoned.
Have we abandoned our young men because they do not seem interested in this kind of conference? Do we just chalk them up to a demographic that is just too lost to reach? Too disconnected? Too not worth our time? Do any of these reasons justify our abandoning these young men? Is it not worth the potential financial risk?
I am not claiming to have the answers to these questions but I am not sure I have seen a conference in the likes of "Revolve" for boys. What gives?
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